Do you have an assertive voice or a quiet voice? Developing your voice of determination and assertiveness - or leadership voice - is key to becoming a success.
Do you have an assertive voice or a quiet voice? Developing your voice of determination and assertiveness - or leadership voice - is key to becoming a success.
Being assertive doesn't mean being aggressive. Those are two different things. One is taking a stand and the other is being a bully.
Is it difficult for you to assert yourself out of fear of what may happen? Are you afraid the other person may become angry and yell at you? It has happened of course, but usually the person who does become angry is either a bully or just masking the person they really are; another scared, little mouse who learned how to roar simply to intimidate.
An assertive voice is key to leadership success
Assertiveness is an indication of your self-esteem and self-assurance in your identity as an individual. When you lack assertiveness your career can be affected in a negative way. It's important to build this leadership skill. If you are always a follower and never a leader, success will always elude you.
Start with how you sound now
With permission from a few good friends, call them on the phone and record how you interact and communicate with them and listen to it over and over to really get an idea of how you sound to others. Then you can stand in front of a mirror, have a script in hand and pretend you' re giving a lecture to a group of people.
Yes, initially it will be for a group of one, (yourself) yet as you become more self-assured and proficient you might consider giving a talk about a subject you know enough about in front of a small group of people.
Pay attention to how you use your voice
Do you speak quietly, too fast or too slow? How do you phrase your sentences? Is your grammar correct? Listen to well-known speakers or "Thought Leaders" like Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and others on CD or DVD. Watch their body language and how they simply personify self-assured and assertiveness.
Notice the tone of their voices. Whether you're a man or a women, find someone you admire who has the voice and attitude you'd like to master. In Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) - think Tony Robbins - you are taught to "match, model and mirror" a person or persons who personifies the kind of person you'd most like to emulate.
Keep in mind, a strong voice comes across as authoritative, credible, trustworthy and knowledgeable. A soft voice comes across as kind and friendly, yet many times it is perceived as someone who is unsure and timid. And a soft voice does not give others the feeling that person is a leader.
The pitch of your voice is very telling
Have you ever heard someone with a nasally, whiny voice? This may sound harsh, but most people are simply irritated by the sound of some people's voices and even make fun of them. Of course that isn't good or right but human nature is what it is.
Develop the sound, cadence and tone of your voice.
Pay attention to what you say
Do you find yourself constantly saying you're "sorry" to others because you are hyper-sensitive in believing you did something wrong or offended someone? Stop doing it. If someone is offended they will more likely than not let you know immediately, especially if they are one of those "assertive types".
In addition, if you are always apologising, you may find yourself in the position of "convenient doormat". There are people in the world who are very much like sharks in their temperament.
We've all run into them at one time or another, and like the shark, they can smell blood in the water.
Work on the whole package
Changing things about yourself is not a bad or negative thing. If you have a junky car that screams "loser" wouldn't you like to move into something that shows you look a little more successful than you do driving the old clunker?
From the way you speak, the way you dress - and yes, even the car you drive, will tell the world you are either on your way up, or on the way down. Finding your voice is more than how you speak. It's about the whole package.
Changes happen in several ways. When you change the internal voice (your mind) then follow with the external (your behaviour patterns) you begin to shift into another level of competence and the actions you take will put you on the road to success - maybe even into your new car!
Have you ever heard the expression "shift happens"? Your mind is the machine that drives your body and your life, but if necessary, you can begin your transformation on the outside while at the same time begin the internal mind-work that can make your changes a permanent part of who you truly are.
You are unique, special and there is no one on earth just like you. Make it your goal to be the BEST YOU possible. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Find your voice and ROAR!